Dating Challenge: Crossing the ‘Friend Zone’

This article was quite interesting, so, i posted it, so i can share it with you guys.

- yours trully-
By Andrea Syrtash, ONDating Special to Yahoo! Personals

You’ve had feelings for your friend for a while and you’re worried about crossing the line and ruining the friendship. That’s not really true, of course, but that’s what you keep telling yourself so you can justify not putting yourself on the line and risking rejection.

Sure — it’s possible to love a friend of the opposite sex without picturing him or her in bed. Having feelings for your friend doesn’t necessarily prove Harry’s theory in “When Harry Met Sally” who famously declared that “No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.”

There are exceptions to Harry’s rule, but one thing is certain — being seen as just a friend by all the people you want to date can be frustrating. So here are a few ways to prevent being stuck in (cue scary music): ‘The Friend Zone’:

1. Do Flirt

It’s okay if romance is on your brain when you greet your friend. In fact, it can fuel the chemistry. It’s good for your friend to catch you subtly checking him or her out. As long as you’re not drooling or gawking, it can be sexy. You want your friend to think he or she imagined the look. Light touching and sincere and specific compliments are great for flirting, too.

2. Don’t Be the Problem Solver

Are you on speed dial every time your friend needs something fixed or wants to process a bad relationship? It’s nice to help your friend occasionally, but make sure you’re not the one he or she associates with problems.

If you do come over to help, mention that you’re happy to assist for an hour but have plans after that. Better to remain a little mysterious and have your friend wondering who else is getting your attention.

3. Have Fun

Create unique memories. You’re aware of your friend’s passions, so initiate fun and interesting activities that you know your friend will enjoy but isn’t doing with others.

And — if someone has dumped you, confide in a friend you don’t have feelings for! Remember to keep an upbeat attitude and stay confident — those are two of the most attractive qualities cited by singles when looking for a mate.

Of course, not every friendship ends with a romantic happy ending and you may have to be prepared that your crush just wants to stay your friend. You’ll have to decide if that’s enough for you.

In the meantime, if you feel like you often end up in the friend zone with people you want to date, plant some of these seeds and see if anything grows in your relationship. Sometimes a glass of wine or a flirtatious exchange can change the dynamic… and you look at each other and wonder why it took so long.

Cupid missed me!

play this as you read: 

The Corrs - What Can I Do To Make You Love Me (The Corrs)

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I know its true, but where are you? Yes you!

Love is in the air. Obviously, Valentine’s Day is just weeks away. The time for passion and romance and time for the crushes and stuff to ripen, you get what I mean.

All my life, I spend my Valentine’s Day without a special someone. Not that I don’t have my family, it’s just that, I never experienced having a girlfriend before. Would you like to know my routine every Valentine’s day? Ok. Here it is. First, I go to school (if it falls on a school day, if not, just sittin’ by my computer), next, is watch others enjoy the day with their special someone, giving gifts to each other and those sort of things. And after all of that, I go to church and offer a long-stemmed white rose to Mother Mary (I’ve been doing this for the past 7 years).

I wonder how it feels to have a special someone whom you could share dreams with? You know what, I’ve been like this because of the many mistakes I have done in the past. Some of these things are, not telling my crush that I liked her until its too late, ignoring someone who likes me until such time I realized that I liked her too, then it becomes too late cause she’s hanging out with another guy, and being a jerk, playing as a hopeless romantic hoping that with just one line of speech and then it would be magic!

You know what, I still believe in destiny, I believe in fairy tales, and I really believe in magic. I know that someday, on the right place at the right time, destiny will work it out, and I will find "the girl" that will return the missing pages I seek.

Cupid just missed me this year, I mean for the past few years. I may not be as easy as a target but I know, he’ll get his luck soon. And so am I.

Love and Time

  Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love.

Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.

When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said,
"Richness, can you take me with you?"
Richness answered, "No, I can’t. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!"
"I can’t help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked, "Sadness, let me go with you."
"Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, Love, I will take you." It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder,

Love asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who Helped me?"
"It was Time," Knowledge answered.
"Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?"
Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is."

Web : Breaking Social Barriers

How rare could it be to see a popular girl hanging out with a nobody? It may happen but only 1 in every thousand. 

    It seems so awkward for a girl whos social status is in the top, meaning, she is beautiful, a cheerleader perhaps, a very confident person, in short popular, to be hanging out with a guy who is, at all, if not low, no profile at all. But it seems life finds its own ways inorder for these two worlds to communicate.

And here comes the 3 big W's. Yes you're right. The world wide web. It seems that it is a refuge to those guys who can't normally express themselves in the real world. They become really different persons in the web. Suppose that this guy is so silent and can't even talk to someone he likes, be a confident and cool lad when it comes to the net.

I will share an experience. Honestly, I'm this type of guy who can't express himself in the public. I'm just your plain normal guy who goes to school to attend classes, enjoy the company of friends, and watching over my crush and dreaming of me saying my feelings to her. But POOF, here comes reality…!! She's popular and cool and me, just another guy who waste his time keeping his thoughts in mind. And you know what, in the web, I feel like I'm the most adorable guy any girl would wish to be with (exaggerated a little). I feel like I can express myself without having to worry about what others would say (they can't see me anyway).

And then came a friend. I knew her in some fora. She is cool, friendly and pretty "kalog" in a sense. I tried to impress her the first time I joined in the forum to get her attention and then, after sometime, we added ourselves in each IM's. Wow! its really cool. I just barely knew her, maybe a week, and its like I knew her for months. She's been very friendly.

One night, I talked to her about my situation (the being an ordinary guy), and surprisingly as I asked what is her status in her school, It amazed me, she's a popular, top of the food chain! And she talked to me like we are in the same status. Man what a confident guy I am. She's really cute (too bad she has a boyfriend… hehehe…). Anywayz. She advised me on what to do inorder to be confident and I'm willing to change myself for the better. She's really a cool online friend.

This encounter is really rare. Imagine, popular girl talks with ordinary guy. Yes it happened. Thanks to the web. The web breaks barriers in the real social world. It boost up the confidence of people like me to talk to the "unreachables" (geeky vocabulary). See the power of the web. Amazing isn't it?

The Silent Love

Love transcends everything, including the one gift we take so often for granted, speech. A touching story with a tear-jerking ending which shows true love is patient and will be a shining light in moments of despair.

From the very Begining, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background & that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.

Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?"

As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence.

After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"

The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged.

The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up.

One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realised that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She has lost her voice……

The doctors says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down.

During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,…..it's still just silence cry that companied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.

With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, and countless of phonecalls,.. all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying….

The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.

With a new environment, the girl learn sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.

A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead.

When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You. With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.

The Cranberries - Linger (The Cranberries)

The Salty Coffee

He met her on a party, she was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her,while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to politeness, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me back home. Suddenly he asked the waiter: would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee.

Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but, still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously: why you have this hobby? He replied: when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could felt the taste of the sea, salty and bite, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I will think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who still living there. Saying that, tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart.

"A man who can tell out his homesick, he must be a man loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home," she thought. Then she also started to talk, talked about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story. They continue to date. She found actually he was a man who meets all her demands: he was tolerance, kind hearted, warm, careful…he was such a good guy but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee!

Then the story was just like every beautiful love story: the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life…And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked.

After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: "My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you, the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It's hard for me to change so I just go ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything..Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste..but I have the salty coffee for my whole life since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life.

If I can live for the second time, I still want to know you and have you as my whole life wife, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again."

Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her: What's the taste of salty coffee?

It's sweet. She replied.